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Latest Trend: Landscape Photography Dutch Angles

In the photographic world, only one person can birth an original idea.  Then people follow and create a trend, and then that trend becomes a cliche.  In these modern times of cliche, HDR-ridden, Orton-glowed-to-death, luminosity-masked-to-hell, multi-composite monstrosities, I bring to you my newest pursuit:  Landscape Photography Dutch Angles.

Appreciating this field requires an appreciation of physics.  Gravity, as a sense of upright orientation, is just an illusion.  In the universe, there is no up, there is no down, there is no sideways.  We connote a sense of up and down by this planet’s axis spin, with two poles.  But who says the North Pole is up, and the South Pole is down?  This is surely dogma that we must fight against!  Who says the South Pole isn’t actually the North Pole?  That might explain hundreds of years of failure to locate the workshop of Santa Claus, who for all we know is quietly bunkered away in the highlands of the Antarctic continent while fools seek the North Pole which is nothing but ice on water.  This is surely proof, that we must throw away our preconceived notions of what is up and what is down.

APR10
Show gravity who is the boss! Why make Thors Hammer stand straight up, when you can make it the Leaning Tower of Thor-pisa where it can possibly break and open up some space on the trail.

Somehow, the Dutch came up with a way to solve this problem, and they aren’t granted ownership of this concept simply because the English applied Dutch to anything as a pejorative, not at all.

Now, some people may claim that the way to unlock this art is to Get It Right In Camera, and in no way do they seek to get it right in camera as a crutch for the fact that they are unable to learn how to edit RAW files and have no idea how to use the Virtual Horizon menu in their camera.  Not at all.  But how do you apply such precision in getting an awkward angle in the field, when it is easier applied at home.  I challenge you, don’t get it right in camera, then un-right it!  Photograph it correctly, that tired old straight horizon, and then get home and mess with it.

APR11
Isn’t there far too much traffic in San Diego, particularly on the Coast? Tilt that coast, and maybe the cars will fall in the ocean. Maybe some of the birdshit on Birdshit Rock will come off as well.

If you succeed in this emerging and not at all sarcastic field, you will improve the livelihood of chiropractors everywhere, because people will have to contort their necks just to see your image “properly”.  This is imagery mastered, where it inspires not only emotion, but actual painful joints in your patrons.  Would a standard photograph have such a physical effect on its viewer?  I think not!

APR12
Isn’t the Ocean Beach Pier nearly destroyed every time San Diego has a big storm?  Well now you can help

We already have wonderful examples to draw inspiration from.  The Italians were early on this, with the Leaning Tower of Pisa that is going to collapse any day now, and the Millennium Tower in San Francisco unshackled it’s chains to tilt conspicuously Northwest.  Art in architecture?  Art in photography must follow.

As one of the leading proprietors in strangely angled photographs, I expect you to follow this trend and credit me, the Picasso of this movement, until I decide to create something else for an April Fool’s blog post in 365 days.  Thanks for reading!

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8 thoughts on “Latest Trend: Landscape Photography Dutch Angles”

  1. It is nice to see someone who has a soft spot in their heart for chiropractors. Maybe some will offer you an affiliate contract. Then again, maybe this will spur a new product line of gimbal-balanced desktop displays – which I will offer you a small partnership in the patent.

    Reply
    • The only reason to create photographs is in service to being an Influencer, obviously, so I do think we should announce a partnership with a Chiropractor who will pay me $3 per post!

      Reply
  2. I have accepted my faith of never getting it right in camera, and all these years I could have been a trend setter, simply by not correcting my ALWAYS titled horizons… SIGH. I bow to you, sir. You are a true artisté.

    Reply

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