Potato Chips, Ranked

Potato Chip First Ballot Hall of Famer

Potato Chip First Ballot Hall of Famer

This is the complete and unassailable ranking of potato chips, one of the best creations in the history of humanity and one of the things I am most passionate about in life.  Failure to agree completely with this list means you are totally wrong and there is no hope for you.  This is like my complete and unassailable list of overrated rock bands, but in chip form.

Without further ado, here is the true and correct Chip List.

  1. Smokehouse Barbecue Ruffles (and they don’t make them anymore!)
  2. Nacho Cheese Doritos
  3. Chili Cheese Fritos
  4. Cheetos
  5. Ruffles Original
  6. Lays Hickory BBQ (mediocre replacement for Smokehouse Barbecue Ruffles)
  7. Fritos
  8. Funyuns (I hate onions and stand by my hypocrisy)
  9. Ruffles All-Dressed (so you can remember you wish you had Smokehouse Barbecue)
  10. Cheetos Flaming Hot
  11. Kettle Brand Sea Salt
  12. Kettle Brand Sea Salt & Vinegar
  13. Lay’s Barbecue
  14. Pringles Barbeque
  15. Pop Chips (All Flavors)
  16. Boulder Canyon Hickory Barbeque (also a Kettle-like chip)
  17. Kettle Brand Salt & Fresh Ground Pepper
  18. The rest of Kettle Brand’s chip lineup
  19. In fact, throw in everybody else’s kettle-cooked chips
  20. Doritos Taco Flavored
  21. Any kind of baked potato chip (basically)
  22. Any kind of basic tortilla chip (including Tostitos Original)
  23. Pringles Original
  24. Lay’s Classic (Really, its just an incomplete Ruffle)
  25. Doritos Spicy Nacho (Just get the Nacho Cheese)
  26. Ruffles Cheddar Sour Cream
  27. Lay Honey Barbecue (Nobody asked for this)
  28. Fritos Flavor Twists Honey BBQ (more honey….we don’t need this)
  29. Cool Ranch Doritos (It’s ongoing popularity means this blog was needed to hate on these thoroughly medicore chips)
  30. Kettle Brand Jalapeno
  31. Lay’s Sour Cream and Onion
  32. Pringles Sour Cream & Onion
  33. Cheetos Puffs
  34. Bugles (just dumb)
  35. Sun Chips (All varieties)
  36. All chips labelled French Onion
  37. Takis
  38. Veggie Chips

Thank you for reading this important and absolutely correct listing of chips.  You are welcome to leave a comment below, but keep in mind that if you disagree, you are just letting the entire world know you are wrong about chips.  I mean, not as incorrect as Tim Marchman’s forever awful list of Cereals, Ranked, but still incorrect nonethless.

9 thoughts on “Potato Chips, Ranked

      1. Mark Wade

        #2 is my Achilles. So many things wrong with it, so many things right. There must be some magic dust in there to promote dopamine or something. It just works

        Reply
  1. Debora Covington

    I would laugh about this list but knowing you this was a serious subject for you. I am now looking for Cheetos popcorn.

    Reply
  2. Mark

    I will only offer a quibble of a technical nature – there are corn products in this list, not solely potatoes. As such, you are mixing apples and oranges. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Joe

    I remember eating and liking Bugles, are they still around? I don’t eat chips very often, usually snag some from someone else bag (or tube). Never liked Fritos but I do like Veggie chips and would no doubt place them higher in your rankings. You’re the first person I know that has such wide-ranging experience is this area.

    Reply

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