So, Nothing makes my day happier than having the opportunity to greet a door-to-door salesperson who is standing on my front patio1.
Like tens of thousands of people who live in the San Diego region, I have Cox for my internet (we have almost no other choice in my region) and Verizon for my cell phone (we have, maybe 3 choices). It has been this way for a couple decades.
As it turns out, these companies are also business partners, which I will get to in this post.
Recently, I was working on a data archival project for another of my 78,000 hobbies. This required a lot of data to download, as well as syncing two different archives with another tool. This was a lot of bandwidth, and of course, after Comcast pioneered the idea of establishing monthly data usage limits, and finding new revenue streams for those who exceeded it, others like Cox followed suit. I forecast that I was going to exceed this limit, and by a fair amount. It made sense, at least temporarily, to pay for the unlimited bandwidth (that shouldn’t be a thing for a service provider with plenty to spare).
Now, if you want to change your service in a way that costs you more money, this is a super easy process that happens instantly. After my project was completed, however, I definitely did not want or need to spend the extra $50 per month when I rarely hit even half the limit. As any of you undoubtedly know, doing anything to your internet service that lowers your monthly bill is the opposite of easy or convenient.
I Want Cox To Charge Me Less
Now, I already know it is a death wish to call the cable company, so I go with the lesser evil of the chat window. After some delay, I get one of those people I know better than to talk to on the phone. My request is simple: cancel my elective unlimited bandwidth. The thing about simple requests, however, is that they don’t line up with call scripts. So the immediately is about my cell phone. I mention that I have Verizon, and it’s fine (and I am still paying off my Apple Watch, for that matter).
Now, we have entered a parallel universe where my request has nothing to do with the internet service, but one where I really just wish I could change my cell phone plan. I repeatedly mention this has nothing to do with my request, to put away the call scripts, and just do what I have chatted for. I am told about some smoking hot deal for both my cable internet and my cell phone, which I know is promotional and will be regrettable when the promotion ends, and I tell him to just please eliminate the unlimited bandwidth.
The reply was to ask for my IMEI. This, of course, is super unacceptable, and I typed a few choice words that would make some people blush. I am then told that if I do that again, I will be disconnected, and I mention that if I don’t go back to my original request, I will ask for a manager (yep, I had to be that person). I also give out a veiled and insincere threat to go to AT&T DSL.
Finally, after all this, they do what I ask. I get a new cable internet promotional plan as well.
The great thing, is that reading about their mobile service, they are simply an MVNO for…….Verizon. They’re business partners. Amazing.
I Don’t Want Verizon At My Front Door – No Soliciting
The next piece of this was equally annoying and delightful. A few years ago, my place got new double-pane front windows. My primary concern was that I was going to lose the No Soliciting sticker at my front door, so I was at Home Depot purchasing a new sticker while maintenance was doing the installation.
This did not deter the teenage-to-20s kid ringing my doorbell. He was wearing a Verizon shirt, and most disturbing, he had my name and knew I was a customer (these kids who knock on your door are always contractors, not employees). I gave out a big sigh and my nap was disturbed. There was no outage in the area that I knew of, so there was no reason to have the Verizon Shirt Kid there in front of me.
Why was he there? Oh, to ask me about my internet. I did tell him I used Cox (like 99.9% of the people in my area). He asked how much I paid, and I told him that was none of his business. Then he mentions a neighbor down the way by name (as an introvert, I have no idea who he was referring to) and the amount they are paying, and when their promotional price ends. I told him that meant the neighbor was foolish enough to give him information he was not entitled to.
He really wants me to switch to Verizon’s 5G internet. If you know anything about how 5G frequency works, it is only good over short distances and has interference problems from literally any object. I am in an area supposedly soaked with 5GUW, yet I am on LTE most of the time. Using a fast but super limited technology for my production internet sounds terrible (the first NFL stadium with 5G still doesn’t have coverage to every seat).
I tell the guy I am fine with my internet, then he asks me if I am aware that Cox is being sued. Then, I tell him all big companies get sued, I don’t care, I point to the No Soliciting sign he clearly didn’t see, ignored, or didn’t understand, and tell him to get the F off my patio and to leave the rest of my neighbors he hasn’t visited yet alone too. I don’t know if he did this, but I did slam the door extra hard on him.
Dumb Conclusion
So that means, Cox and Verizon are business partners. Cox wants to take Verizon customers from Verizon. Verizon wants to take Cox customers from Cox. Ignore any No Soliciting signs. With friends like this, who needs enemies?
T.M. Schultze is a San Diego-based photographer, traveller, and writer. He writes, photographs, and draws things of the outdoors that have inspired humans for thousands of years. He co-authored the Photographer’s Guide to Joshua Tree Park which can be purchased here.